An Angels Birthday

Post from April 19, 2016 https://raise4rowyn.wixsite.com/blograiseforrowyn/single-post/2016/04/19/an-angels-birthday

Written by Brynn Johnson

Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.

Psalms 86:11-12

In the morning of my daughters 3rd birthday. I woke up early with her little sister Mynrow and played quietly in the living room with her just like I used to do with Rowyn. I know Myrow was a gift handpicked from above, but she will never replace the love my heart has for Rowyn. I still have a huge hole missing her. I can’t help but lay here on the floor while staring at my little baby and still picture Rowyn. The giggles, her pointing at my coffee cup saying “HOT,” her sitting on my lap while I play with her hair and hold her in my arms. It hurts so bad. The saying “broken hearted” is an understatement. Not just my heart hurts but my entire body and soul is just aching to see and feel my precious baby again.

How do I celebrate my daughter’s birthday when she’s in heaven?? I try to make it special even though she isn’t here. I bought her 3 pink balloons and a Happy Birthday balloon with a pink bow on it and put it at the cemetery. I bought her a teal ceramic bird and painted a bow on it’s head and adorned it with a crystal on top to make it girly, just like her. I scattered baby pink roses all over her grave and took the remaining floral arrangements from our Raise for Rowyn event to her. I am trying so hard to make this a special day for her but it’s so sad. No parent should have to celebrate their baby’s birthday like this.

When I have the strength to get myself together I plan on working in her memorial garden throughout the day. I want to plant some new flowers and just take the day to reflect her life and what she would be like today. I try to picture what she would look like. I picture her being breathtakingly beautiful with her long blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Her beauty shines thru from the inside, she has a heart of gold. This day is about her and I will make it a special one. She continues to amaze me with the lives she’s touching here on earth. She’s such a loving and powerful soul. I hope she is being spoiled rotten today in heaven. I hope God got her a turquoise unicorn that she’s riding around in heaven with a trail of sparkles following her.

Thank you to all my friends, family, and supporters who take the time to read my blog. Please say a little Happy Birthday to my angel today. I want her to feel the love from us all. Love you all.