Giving Thanks

November 11, 2016

 

I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my

strength.

Alexandria Elle

 

I do not pretend to think I am the only one who hurts. Everybody does. This season is

particularly difficult for a close friend of mine. Her family is holding on tight as they

approach the Heavenly Birthday of her beautiful sister. She lost her battle to cancer. It is

hard sometimes to find the right words of encouragement. That is just hard shit, there is

no doubt about it. But I have learned that empathy and compassion are deeper than I ever

imagined and these two things do not go unseen. We do not have magic words, or

potions, but we do have prayer and love. So that is what we give and that is what we try

and show. And receiving prayer and love when you are going through a rough time, is all

you really need anyway.

Somehow, if we can fight hard enough, we get strong. We just survive unbeknownst to

our own selves its happening. We turn around two years later (maybe not remembering a

lot especially from that first year), and were standing up, working, raising babies…..moving forward. Maybe even living a better life than we did before, and appreciating things we took for granted. A lot of things. I continue to change through all of this hard stuff. I am still figuring out who I fully am and what I see when I look at the world around me. Because I can assure you, the view is much different today than it was two years ago, or even a year ago. I have a standard for myself and it has nothing to do with how I look on the outside. I am imperfect, full of flaws, and totally broken. Can you relate? Of course you can, because we all are. But no matter how broken, I understand compassion and empathy, I have prayer and love to give. I want to give it always.

Just a few days ago, I was walking out of Target when I saw a group of teenage girls

gathered around a car. They were giggling, sharing food and planning to meet up later. I

could not help but watch them. They were carefree spirits and in no rush, just enjoying

life and each other. I had this sort of “Good for Them” feeling. So much that I could not

stop smiling. Their happiness reached me. Here I was, rushing from therapy to Target and

then back to work with a million things on my mind, mascara down my cheeks. And I suddenly felt happy. I felt what they felt, in a different way. Pure empathy. I was grateful

for the moment; it brought forth all the things good in my life. All the stuff I have to be

happy for. Despite all the shit, I was happy.

That is who I want to be and how I want to be seen. Not too often do we get a reset

button in our life, a chance to face our own ugly. Become better people, see things

through a new light. I have been given that. Through all this, I got that.

I am thankful for it.

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