How can I do it

July 30, 2015


This weekend, Raise for Rowyn participated in the Tenino Oregon Trail Days Parade through downtown Tenino with our beautiful float. The team spent Friday afternoon getting the float put together and the morning parked in our spot, # 28 waiting to show it off. We had bought 20 balloons to hang above our float with each representing one of the Angel’s we have been able to help. As we began to write their names and tie the balloons on, I felt chills cover my body, and a few tears come about. This is why we are here, for these Angels. The mission of the charity never leaves you, but when it all comes down to it, this is what we do. And there are 20. When our accident happened, it was like the end of our world as we knew it. You don’t think about child loss much, and you don’t realize how often it happens. To think that since we made our first dime back in January that we have been able to provide support to 20 grieving families is just unreal.

It was exciting, fun and what we later found to be quite emotional. As Cody slowly pulled us through the parade of people, I felt my heart start to sink and tears rise. I fought them off as I have gotten real good at that, but it was such a reflection on how far we have come.

Raise for Rowyn shirts flooded the crowd, people clapped for us and were shouting thank you as we made our way down Sussex Avenue. When we got about midway, we got presented with a big ribbon, First place for our float. The pastel colors, angel wings, our sign and Rowyn’s photographs made an impact on the judges. 

Was it surprising to win?

Everything that Rowyn touches, is successful. I think we would have been successful even if we had not won the ribbon.We are an operating charity, doing everything we can to spread our word and our love to families in need. And it has become our need. Raise for Rowyn fills a gaping hole for us. For me, it is a hole of pure pain. It is not that I do not feel it or that I do not think about it all the time, but this charity helps me to keep moving forward. There’s something bigger that I must be doing, and I must be doing it for Rowyn. I was asked just this weekend, “How are you able to just face all of this all the time and want to do it, I just don’t understand?” Nobody could understand because you haven’t walked my horrible road. A road I’d wish upon nobody. A road I still wonder how I got on.

I now find myself living in a town that I am not from, knowing people I never thought I would know, being supported by people who I’ve never met and continuing to walk through my life relying on God’s guidance. People may not understand the decisions that I make, the things that I say or how I choose to play my role out in Raise for Rowyn. But I am not living for them. I am living for God, Rowyn, and myself. Which includes my beautiful family, who I realize need me very much. Let me pose this question to you as I close this weeks blog.

As Jesus looked across the horizon of his future, he could see many targets… But in the end he chose to be a Savior and save souls ~ Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment


If you find yourself faced with a relentlessly painful experience, would you let the targets keep you from acting, doing, or saying what you felt you needed to in order to keep on your task? Would you let a snare keep you from following your road?

I have questioned myself and my presence in Raise for Rowyn, of course I have. But I realize that these targets will not take me off the path that God has put me on. I’m here for a reason, and the reasons are still coming to light.


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